Show Me Who I am
by LanaaLuthor
Summary: Lexana/post S6/ - Lex really hurt Lana (or let her think he did), she got a divorce and moved to Star City. One day he shows up at her door with no memories. Will he remember what he really did that cause their marriage to fall apart? Will they get a second chance at love?
1. Chapter 1

"Mr Luthor." Lex's private detective walked into his office.

"What have you got for me, Jones?" Lex asked while raising his tired eyes from the papers on his desk.

"I found her. Here you have the address." Jones handed him over a piece of paper.

"Thank, that would be all. You will not be pursuing anything else," Lex commanded. "You will not disturb her, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Just… one thing…" Lex hesitated for a moment. "Have you seen her?"

"Yes, sir," Jones repeated.

"Is she… is she happy?" Lex finally managed to ask. He didn't want to seem soft or unprofessional in the presence of his private detective, but he needed to know.

"Well, I know nothing about that, sir, but she lives there all alone. I haven't seen any friends or… a potential boyfriend."

"Thank you, that would be all."

Jones left the office and Lex looked down on the piece of paper.

_Lana Lang_

_ Star City, …_

He didn't intend on bothering her since she made it clear that she didn't want to see him ever again. He'd hurt her, at least she thought he had. She could never know the whole truth. It was better that she hated him and not herself.

Lex sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Lex," he heard a voice coming from the door.

He almost jumped, hating when somebody saw him in such weak condition.

He quickly shoved the piece of paper to his pocket and looked up.

"Tess," he said, quite surprised. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" He raised from his seat to face her.

Tess had been his half-sister and he'd found out about her a couple of months ago when his father had died. They hadn't been on exactly friendly terms since that time. Tess seemed to want something from him and like she had the right to ask for anything.

* * *

Lana parked the car and took the groceries she bought inside her small house.

She'd moved out of Smallville, started new life in Star City, but still… she didn't feel like a new person. Her past was always there, hunting her.

Lex had hurt her so much that she knew she would never be the same after that. She'd loved him, she really had, he'd understood her like no one else, understood the person she'd changed into, the person she'd grown up to be. Clark, on the other side, had still seen the Lana he'd known from high school. It'd taken them both a long time to finally come to terms that what they'd had in the past once had been long gone. They'd drifted apart right after Lana's divorce with Lex.

So Lana had moved, but it hadn't changed the way she felt.

The way she always felt – lost, abandoned, lonely.

She shook her head. She couldn't keep feeling sorry for herself. She needed to start a new life. She needed to figure out what she wanted from it and what she was going to do with it.

"But maybe just not today…" she sighed heavily while she was putting her groceries into the fridge.

A lightening struck outside and she jumped.

"Just a little storm," she told to herself and laughed. "Not the end of the world, not aliens, nothing dangerous or supernatural. Just a simple storm."

She closed the fridge and started thinking what she would have for dinner.

Just then she heard a doorbell ringing at her door.

That was unusual. Who could that be at such later hour? She didn't think that was some neighbor, no, they would come earlier.

She slowly walked to the door and while making sure that her gun was still in the drawer right by it she opened it.

She was left in shock.

"Lex?" she finally asked, looking at him with bewilderment in her eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?!" she snapped.

There was something wrong. She could tell.

It was Lex, but he seemed like not himself. His usual powerful and strong façade was gone. He seemed vulnerable, lost, if that was even possible. And there was that strange confusion on his face.

"Are you… Lana?" he finally asked and Lana's eyes opened even more widely.

"What are you talking about?" True, she could just shut the door right into his face, tell him to go to hell, tell him she'd meant it when she'd said she didn't want to see him ever again. Something stopped her. There was something in his expressions that told her to help him first. After all, whatever he'd done to her he'd still been a huge part of her life. She'd loved him once and that passion they'd felt for each other hadn't disappeared completely.

"Lex?" she asked when he didn't answer. "Lex, what is it? What's wrong?" She took a look around.

In that very moment it started raining.

Lex didn't have an umbrella, so the water hit his bald head.

"Lex, how did you get here?" she asked another question, feeling even more shocked. "Where is your car?"

"I took a taxi here," the answer finally came.

"A… a taxi?" Lana raised her eyebrows. "What are you… oh, for God's sake…" She rolled her eyes. "Ok, come on in. You don't have to stand in the rain like that."

She made a step back and let him in, then closed the door with great relief. It was really cold outside and the rain with a storm wasn't pleasant either.

"So?" she prompted as they stood right next to each other in the dim hall. "I'm listening. What the hell are you doing here? I thought I made myself clear when I told you I didn't want to see you ever again."

"I don't remember… anything," he finally told her.

"What?!" She suddenly got sick with repeating that word and they started sounding strange in her mouth. "How?"

"I wish I knew. The last thing I remember is waking up on a bench in Metropolis. All I had in my pocket was my wallet, money and this…" He handed her over a piece of paper with her address. "I decided to come here, because I wasn't sure what happened and whom I could trust."

"It seems like you, even without memories," Lana said skeptically and looked at the paper. "I guess asking where did you get that from is impossible?"

"Lana… I'm sorry… I… if somebody is after me I guess it was safer to come to my wife, right?"

"Ex wife," she corrected.

"Yeah…"

"But how did you know that?"

"I googled myself."

She suddenly laughed.

"Ok, great… I was ready to start a new life and what do I get? My ex husband in my door, without any memories. If you googled himself then you must know that you're the owner of the LuthorCorp."

"I may have no memories, but I do have my instinct. It's Tuesday, a work week and this morning I must've been in my company, because my phone says I had an appointment. That means that someone in my work did this to me and left me."

"Do you want something to drink? Or eat?" Lana finally suggested, because she was starving. "I was just going to fix myself some dinner."

"Sounds good, thank you."

He followed her to the kitchen.

"Do you need some help with that?" he asked while watching her taking some frozen food from the refrigerator.

She was once again left surprised. Lex Luthor wanting to help her… cook?

"Yeah, that would be great…"

* * *

Half an hour later she kept wanting to pinch herself as she sat down with Lex in her small living room over two plates and two cups of hot spiked tea.

The man she'd divorced hadn't been like that, he'd been full of lies and deceptions, kept hiding something from her, she'd felt it. Now the man right by her side… it was the Lex she'd fallen for, the Lex that had cared about her, wanting only the best for her. It was the Lex that would've never ever hurt her.

And then he had.

"Are you ok?" he finally asked on seeing the pained look on her face. "You look… I'm sorry for barging in like that. I just… I kind of felt that I would be safe here with you. I know you must hate me, I know that our divorce had to be my fault, but… I can't do anything about it if I don't even know what was it."

Lana closed her eyes, her face winced.

"I just… I thought I was ready to move on and you…"

He reached his hand to touch her arm to comfort her, but she jumped and moved away from him.

"Sorry," he said. "It looks like I was a bastard. Did I… hurt you?"

"Yes, but not physically," she answered. "You lied to me in the worst way possible."

"Did I cheat on you?"

"No." To his astonishment she laughed. "You have many faces, Lex, but cheating isn't like you."

"Seeing you I know I wouldn't, but I had to ask. So, what was it?"

"It doesn't matter. It won't change anything. The most important thing right now is get your memories back and…"

"…and get me out of your life for good," he finished after her, seemed broken somehow.

"Lex, I… god, I can't…" she said and stood up. She couldn't look at his face right now, his expression was so good, so caring, it was like all the bad that had happened between them never had and her feelings were still there. Feelings for this man. She'd been in love with Clark for very long, but it'd been just that young silly love that was never meant to last. Lex had been her mature love, the one she'd thought she could have for good. And then he'd crashed her. Deceived like no one had ever before.

"I'm sorry," she heard him saying. "I am sorry for whatever I've done to you. I know it must mean nothing to you since I have no idea what that was, but _I am_ sorry. I can't imagine why would I do something to hurt you."

"Why? Why can't you imagine?" Lana turned to look at him.

"Because I feel for you. It's strange, it really is, I don't really know you now, but it seems like _I do. _In my heart."

"Ok, stop!" she raised her voice. "Just stop! You can't just woo me with all that beautiful words! It won't change anything! What happened happened and we can't undo it!"

"I know. I… I'm sorry for coming here. I was a mistake. I'll find another place."

"Yeah, you do that and then I'll hear you're dead and that will broke me even more," Lana said. "I can't let you go. You were right. You're the safest here, so stay here. I help you remember and figure out who did this to you and then… we'll go our separate ways."

"Thank you," he said honestly and stood up. "It really means a lot."

* * *

"So, I found something," Lana notified him the next morning, sitting next to him on the couch.

They were both feeling rather awkward, because a moment later Lana had walked into him in the bathroom. He hadn't been completely naked, but she'd gotten a very good look at his chest. She'd felt like she was in fire immediately and just had to close that door as fast as she could. It'd been too late anyway, the memories of them in bed, of Lex's passionate love making and then fucking had flooded her mind and she couldn't think about anything else.

She kept telling herself that he'd hurt her too much. He wasn't capable of real love if he'd done something like that. He would never know what the real love was.

"Are you ok?" she heard his voice so close to her ear that she almost shivered.

"Yeah," she said quickly, a little too quickly. "Let's just…" She cleared her throat. "This is Tess Mercer," she pointed the screen of her laptop, "your half-sister. You discovered your connection when your father died. Blood test proved the relation. Now, when you're missing she's the one that will get the LuthorCorp if you don't come back."

"So, you think she did this to me?" Lex asked.

"Yeah."

"Isn't she like… family?"

"Oh, Lex," Lana didn't know if she should laugh or cry, "your family isn't a typical one.

Then it hit her. Lex with no memories. Lex with no baggage from his past. Lex with clean slate. Lex who could still learn how to love and…

_Stop, Lang, stop it! _She had to told to herself in her mind. _It's not worth it. What will you do when he eventually remembers?!_

"We still don't know for sure, so we have to get that memories back."

"How?" Lex was clearly in dead end now. "We don't even know how it happened that I forgot. Maybe I should just come back to Metropolis?"

Lana bit her lower lip.

"If you come out there whoever did this may still hurt you," she finally said. "Since we don't know for sure… your only chance is to get those memories first."

"_How_?" Lex asked again, his voice desperate.

Lana understood him perfectly, he was Lex Luthor, he needed to know everything and to control everything, so now when he was powerless, impotent, it must be very frustrating.

"I've got it!" she suddenly realized the perfect way out of this. "Do you… yeah, of course, stupid question. You don't remember Chloe Sullivan… She's my friend from Smallville and she lives here, in Star City. She married Oliver Queen. I know you and Oliver went to the same boarding school and you weren't exactly buddies, but we don't have to call Oliver. I'll contact Chloe, she'll arrange for you some testing in the Star Labs and we'll know what's wrong with you and how to fix it!"

"Thank you," Lex just said and covered her hand with his.

Lana felt the sudden urge to feel more of him, but she stopped herself just in time.

She stood up and went to get her phone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **Thank you for all your reviews. I'm glad you have the same opinion of Lexana: ) This won't be a long story though, I just wanted to give them a proper ending, so probably only one more chapter.

* * *

"How is he?" Lana asked when Chloe exited the lab, leaving Lex there.

"They're doing blood tests and if that won't show us what's going on they'll go further in looking," Chloe notified and looked at her friend's face closely. "Lana, what are you doing?" she suddenly asked.

"What do you mean?" Lana frowned.

"With him. What are you doing?"

"I do what I always do, Chloe, I help people if they ask for it," the answer came.

"Of course, but don't deny that there's more to it," Chloe prompted. "Come on, I'm not blind. You won't fool me, Lana Lang."

Lana sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Come," Chloe gently nudged her, "let's go get some coffee. Lex may be in there for a while."

Lana just nodded and followed her friend, thankful that she wasn't judging her.

"Does Oliver know?" she asked when they reached the cafeteria.

"Not exactly…" Chloe hesitated. "I just told him I needed to help you, that's all. I'll probably tell him later since we have an honest relationship, but he won't stay mad for long."

"Honest, exactly," Lana murmured.

"Are you afraid that you might wanna come back to Lex?" Chloe dared to ask.

"I… no, I can't come back to him," the answer came immediately.

"Can't?" Chloe raised her eyebrows. "Lana, those are your feelings, I can see them all over your face. You still love him, don't you?"

"You know, it doesn't matter what I do or don't feel. Or that matters is that not only he lied to me, but deceived me. He did something unforgivable, Chloe. I can't imagine myself just getting pass that and trusting him again."

"I understand," Chloe said and covered Lana's hand with hers. "I really do and I'm sorry."

"I even thought…" Lana stopped for a moment and bit her lip. "That's stupid, but I thought if he stayed like that, without any memories, they maybe we could be happy again, but I know it doesn't work that way. It wouldn't be honest, I would just lie to myself every day. It would be fake."

Chloe didn't say anything to that, but Lana knew she understood her.

"Thank you," she said, "you know, for not snapping at me for all those doubts."

"Lana…" Chloe started, then looked for right words. "You know what I think of Lex, but I can't just keep telling you what to do. I'm sorry for doing it in the past, I was wrong then. I told you to leave Lex, go to Clark, you didn't listen, obviously, but then when you finally did try with Clark again, it didn't work, so I decided to stay out of other people's lives. Help them, yes, tell them what to do? No. If you love Lex and will come back to him I will not say a word. You know what you're doing. That is your life and you know him better than anyone else. I used to think you didn't, but now I see."

"What's with the sudden change?" Lana was a little surprised.

Chloe laughed.

"Well, I guess I've lived long enough to realize that the world is not black and white, it's rather grey. I know that Clark thinks differently, but that's his opinion."

"What about Oliver?" Lana asked, curious.

"He's with me. He's done pretty crappy stuff, you know."

"Are you actually defending Lex?"

"No, because he hurt you, but if he didn't… then I would manage to understand now what was his aim. He wanted to protect us from the possible alien attack. He couldn't know that Clark was one of them, so it's perfectly justified. And meteor infected… as much as I hate to say that… if he succeeded in taking their powers they might be even able to live normally again."

"Who are you and what you've done to Chloe Sullivan?" Lana shook her head with a smile. "So now you see what I saw when I married Lex."

"But still…"

"I know. We can never go back… I still think he was just insecure because of Clark, but when you love somebody you can't make them stay with you by making them think they're pregnant, right?"

"Exactly." Chloe patted her arm. "He always thought you loved Clark more and that he was just a rebound guy."

"The thing was he wasn't… He was my mature love, that kind of love I thought would last."

"Did you tell him that?" Chloe asked.

"No." Lana shook her head. "But even if I did he would still be the same person who was capable of doing terrible things."

"You know what I think? I think you two need that final closure even if you won't get back together," Chloe advised. "When he'll get his memories back you have to tell him what you've just told me and let him explain his actions. Then you'll be able to walk away and start new life without him. You need to set yourself free by finally being honest."

"Yes, that's a good idea, but it'll be hard."

"And what in life isn't?" Chloe winked at her.

"Mrs Sullivan-Queen?" a man came over to them. "We finished the testing and found trace of the substance that made Mr Luthor lose his memories."

"Is it reversible?" Chloe asked immediately.

"We can create an antidote," the answer came, "but it'll take a while."

"Thank God," Lana sighed with relief. "Can I take him home now?" she asked before she could realize what she'd just said. _Take him home. _That wasn't Lex's home. It was Lana's.

"Yes, he's waiting for you in the hall."

* * *

"How long until I'll remember?" Lex asked Lana when they came back and entered the living room.

"It can be a matter of days or weeks. They don't know yet," she told him, "but the most important thing is that you will get it back."

"Good. Maybe there's some advantage to that, you know?" he said.

"What do you mean?"

"It brought us back together," he said. "Not in that sense," he quickly added on seeing the confused and hurt look on her face. "It just gave us a chance to set things straight between us."

"Yes," she agreed. "I need you to be honest with me, Lex, so whatever happens you promise me you tell me the whole truth."

"I promise."

"I'll hold you to that," she warned him while going to the kitchen.

"You don't have to. I am a man of my word," he said and followed her.

"I don't doubt that, but you may not like that you gave me your word. There must be a reason you never told me why."

"Why what?" he prompted.

"Wait and see. Just wait and see…"

* * *

In the evening they were sitting in the living room, eating dinner.

Lana had a great time and it took her a while before she realized what she was actually doing.

She was talking, laughing and joking with Lex, her ex-husband.

And it felt right, it felt good.

She had to wake up from that fantasy. It didn't matter how well they got along with each other or how good it felt to be close to him, all that mattered was the brutal truth that they couldn't do anything else. It was too complicated. She was hurt too deeply by that man. She couldn't let him back into her heart.

The only problem was that he already was in her heart. He'd never really left it.

"Lana, are you ok?" he asked in caring voice when she stopped talking for a moment.

"Yeah," she murmured, shaking her head and looking at him with a fake smile plastered on her face. "Sure."

In that moment their faces were very close and Lex was looking at her with his deep insightful eyes as he wanted to find a reason for her sadness. She felt like he could see right through her, touch her soul.

She didn't have enough control over her body, so when he leaned forward she didn't pull away. Instead she let him kiss her.

And when his lips touched hers she felt like he lit her on fire, awaken her whole body.

Before she could stop herself she was placing her hands on his face, pulling him even closer and kissing him hard, opening her mouth for his tongue.

Then as soon as it happened it stopped when she finally came to her senses. She felt the familiar pang between her legs and she started getting wet. She wanted him. She wanted him with her whole being. She wanted his naked body. She wanted him moving inside of her and she knew she would not be satisfied until he would do that. Not satisfied by anything and anybody else.

She jumped to her feet, her body shaking.

"I'm sorry," Lex said. "I'm sorry. I lost control."

Yeah, that sounded just like him when he was around her. She remembered he'd _always _been losing his control then.

"It's ok. It's not your fault," she said quickly, couldn't look at him right now, couldn't watch that familiar fire in his eyes, the desire for her.

"What did I do?" he asked and stoop up, getting closer to her again until only inches separated them. "Please, tell me."

"I can't," she just said and moved away, then she ran to her bedroom.

Lex just sighed and lowered his head, looking at the floor.

* * *

Lana was shifting uncomfortably in her bed.

She couldn't sleep. She couldn't do anything else beside thinking of Lex sleeping in the next room. It was much worse than the previous night when she'd been more confused than horny, then it'd just felt surreal, weird, like he hadn't been there at all, like it'd been a dream.

Now she wanted him badly. Her body craved for him so much that it hurt her. She could feel the pressuring need between her legs and it wouldn't let her fall asleep. She was breathing fast and couldn't make her heart beating regularly. She had no control over it. Just none.

"Ah, fuck it!" she growled. She couldn't fight anymore. She _needed_ him. And it didn't have to mean that they would get back together.

Seconds after she came to that conclusion she was already entering Lex's room and coming over to his bed.

He wasn't sleeping. He was just lying there with his eyes wide open.

When he saw her he didn't say anything, he just scooted over to make room for her.

She got to bed without hesitation and he pulled her into his arms, capturing her lips in another hot and deep kiss.

Her needy body pressed against his and she felt him hard and ready.

He must've been feeling exactly like she was.

They didn't waste their time. The need took over them and they were soon striping off their night clothes that were landing on the floor one after the other.

Then Lex turned her over and found himself on top of her.

He went down on her immediately, kissing her hard, then tracing a way with his lips down her neck, then to her breast, licking one nipple when caressing the other one with his hand.

Lana was breathing erratically, from time to time a loud moan escaped her mouth.

"Lex, Lex…" she said urgently, "I need you _now,_" she commanded when he slid his finger inside of her. "Lex!" she screamed when he added the second one.

She reached for his cock and stoke him.

He growled and all his muscles strained.

"Now!" she repeated, so he positioned himself and while finding her lips again he slid himself home.

They both gasped at the sensation and soon lost their control all over again. They were in such a need for each other that they were just fucking.

Lex's body seemed to know exactly what to do Lana to satisfy her like it remembered though Lex had no actual memories.

"Oh yes… yes… Lex… just like that…" she kept moaning when he was pushing into her.

Then she bent her legs and raised them, putting them around his waist what made him go even deeper. Soon after that her channel started contracting around his cock, pushing him over the edge. He couldn't hold on anymore, he missed her so much. She started coming and as soon as he realized it he let go as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Lana woke up in Lex's arms.

She knew she should get up, get away from him in order to clean her head, but somehow she seemed unable to. It felt good, it felt so natural being close to him. It reminded her of those early months of their relationship. She was afraid all that love she'd tried so hard to repel came back.

She shifted her head to Lex and found him watching her.

"You are so beautiful," he said and kissed her softly.

"Lex…" she started and closed her eyes while thinking hard. What should she do? "I… I just want you to know that…"

"Last night doesn't mean that we're back together," he finished after her.

She just nodded and suddenly felt the need to get up. If that was a one night stand, and for now that all it was, she shouldn't be so cuddly in the morning.

"I'm sorry. I just… I needed you so badly… but you still…" she kept bubbling as he let go off her.

She managed to cover herself up with the nightgown she'd had last night.

"Can you tell me?" he asked once again.

Lana just bit her lip.

"What good will it do?" she finally asked him. "You won't be able to do anything with it or explain anything. You'll just feel the guilt."

"I just… keep thinking about it, you know? How could've I done something to jeopardize what we had. You are so amazing that I can't believe myself that I destroyed it all."

"Well, stop then," Lana told him, "stop thinking about it. It'll come back and I'm sure the real you will not feel or act the same."

"Why? This is still me."

"Without the burden from your past. Without all the problems, the people that hurt you, without anything… right now, you are just a clean slate, Lex, and I love the new you, I do. I just… it's not real. Not really. So, yes, I still feel for you, I have to be honest here, but I don't see how we can get anywhere until you'll have those memories."

"I understand," he just said.

"Good. I… I'm gonna go now." She walked to the door and a second later she was gone.

Lex just fell down on the pillows again, sighing deeply and hiding his face in his hands. He promised himself he would do _anything_ to make things right with Lana again, despite anything he might've done in the past. There was always a way.

* * *

"Lex?!" Two hours later Lana came back with fresh groceries. "Lex! Chloe called!" she yelled and found him sitting in her living room with her laptop.

"I found a lot about myself, you know," he said while raising his head to look at her. "It's not good."

"Papers either don't like you or care only about scandal, so don't take it too seriously," she told him. "And you don't even have to anymore. Chloe called. They have a cure."

"Really?" Lex got enthusiastic. "That's fantastic!"

"Yes and… I would rather you go to StarLabs on your own this time," Lana finally said. "I'm sorry… I just… if after you know everything you still want to explain yourself you come back. I just can't deal with you lying to me again."

"I promised I wouldn't," he reassured her, stood up and came closer to her. "Lana, I…" he started as he cupped her face.

"Don't," she interrupted him. "Don't say that. Don't say anything you may regret later… I cold you a taxi and it's already waiting outside."

If Lex was hurt with her rejection he didn't let it show.

He just looked Lana in the eyes and then kissed her.

She didn't pull away, but didn't let herself get too excited either.

After the kiss they both closed their eyes, their foreheads meeting.

"I'll be back," he promised her and left her house.

Lana winced at the sudden pain in her heart. Experience had taught her never to trust him again…

* * *

Couple of hours later Lex still didn't show up.

Lana found herself unable to do anything useful, she was just sitting on her couch, watching TV and from time to time checking the news on the Net.

And there it was.

Tess Mercer got arrested.

Apparently she'd poisoned Lex what made him lose his memories. She's wanted to take over the LuthorCorp and then miraculously find her half-brother and put him to Summerholt. Lex wouldn't have been up to his job while not remembering anything. Tess hadn't yet forseen that he'd come to Lana for help.

And that was it.

Lana knew what had happened but Lex still wasn't coming.

She knew she should've never believed him, never trusted him again.

She'd made the exact same mistake.

And it hurt like hell, just like for the very first time she had.

Then, another ten minutes later a car pulled out in front of her house and somebody knocked on the door.

New hope came into Lana as she stared at it, her heart racing fast.

Then she finally managed to get up from her seat and come over to the door on wobbly legs.

When she opened it she saw Lex. His car was parked by the street.

She looked at him and couldn't quite read his expression. Her heart yearned for him as everything in her screamed that he came after all, but she restrained herself from jumping to him just yet.

"Lex, I didn't think you'd come," she finally said.

"To be honest… I almost didn't," he replied honestly.

"Why?" she asked.

He just sighed heavily and asked, "May I come in?"

"Of course." She opened the door wider, so he would come in and then closed it behind them.

They went to the living room and sat down again.

"I'm waiting," Lana prompted. She was sick of being kept in the dark. What Lex would say in a moment would take a great tool on their lives. It would either make her hate him or make it possible for her to come back to him. Lana wasn't sure which option she preferred at the moment.

"Lana," Lex started and stopped, looked down on the floor, avoiding her eyes, but then he finally found the courage. "You really did lose a child. Our child," he informed.

"What?!" escaped her mouth, shock in her eyes as she met his. "What are you talking about?! The doctor…"

"I paid him," Lex added. "I am so sorry, but…"

"I don't understand…" She could just stare at him in shock. "Tell me the whole truth! Tell me _everything_!"

"Ok…" he sighed heavily and she could now see the obvious pain in his eyes. It must be as hard for him as it was for her. "You were pregnant, but then you miscarried."

"When? How?!"

"Remember when one of my security guards started threatening you? I was away on a business trip and when I told you to go to LuthorCorp, where you would be safe, you chose Kents' farm?"

"Yeah…" she said, not really knowing where Lex was going with it.

"You lost the child, because you did so. If you'd listened to me and gone to LuthorCorp… if I'd pushed a little harder… if I'd been more careful with hiring my stuff…"

"Lex, it's not your fault that you hired that man. Sometimes it just doesn't show no matter how thoroughly you'd check them."

Lex winced a little, emotions that were running through him were a little bit too much to hide now.

"I should've stayed with you. You were pregnant and I just…"

"Ok, first of all, it wasn't your fault. Pregnancy isn't a disease and it wasn't your fault that I…" she suddenly stopped. "Oh God!" She covered her mouth with her hands. "It was the fall, wasn't it?! I fell down the stairs at Kents'!"

"Yes," Lex confirmed. "Yes, it was the fall."

"So what you did after that?"

"I knew you would blame yourself for what happened. I knew you would never forgive yourself for coming to Clark for help and… I gave you the medications, so you would still think you were pregnant and I hoped… If you miscarried on natural basis you wouldn't feel so guilty and… I know now that it was wrong and I should've just told you truth…" he added quickly on seeing the look on her face. "Now I know my mistakes and I would never do something like that ever again."

"Lex, this is so… sick and so… you," she finally uttered, still in shock. "I…"

"Lana, I am sorry. I really am. All that I can tell for my defense is that I would do anything to spare you the pain. I know you too well not to know how you would react."

In that moment Lana understood. If she'd known she would've hated herself so much… probably as much as she'd hated Lex when she'd found out about her "fake pregnancy".

"You know what your problem is, Lex?" she finally asked him, looking him in the eye, her own glassy.

"What?"

"You love too much," the answer came and it completely baffled Lex.

"Wh… I mean… I know, but…" he stammered. "And you didn't love me enough."

"You mean… Clark? Oh Lex… you should know that Clark was my first love, but I forgot about him when I fell for you. I realized that you were my mature love. The right one. The one that would last…" she stopped for a moment and then started again, "I know you were denied love all your life and people always turned their back on you eventually. You didn't want me to be hurt. You know my nature like no one else. You are right, I would've hated myself, I would've hated Clark…" she signed, tears now shining in her eyes. "And… and you chose to make me hate you than… that was so stupid!"

Lex could just look at her, didn't know what to say for the first time in his life.

"Lana…" He reached his arm to her and when she didn't flinch he pulled her into his embrace.

She started crying in his arms.

"I am so so sorry…" He started stroking her head.

"You know…" she said, "you can't protect anyone from pain. That's life and even you can't create a fairytale for me. Pain will always be there and while taking all the blame you will end up alone, hurt and bitter. It was wrong."

"I know it now…" he repeated once again. "I know. Please, just please, forgive me…"

Lana didn't know what to do or say. She'd expected anything but _this._

"Do you think…" Lex stared hoarsely, "that we… we could… try again?"

Lana didn't know. All she knew at the moment was that she didn't want him to let her go. Probably ever again.

"You still lied to me," she said instead.

"And for that I've already apologized."

"The only question now is can I trust you again?" Lana pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"I promise you… I swear… I will never hide anything from you ever again."

"When tragedy strikes in life people should be there for each other and endure it together. Not apart when one innocent person takes the blame," Lana said.

"I know."

She wiped her tears, her body still a little shaky.

"What happens now?" Lex asked. He'd never in his entire life felt so scared.

"I need some time to adjust and to process it all… I hope you understand."

"Of course."

After that he just walked away, leaving Lana suddenly feeling so lonely, empty and not whole.

* * *

She came to him a week later.

"I thought I would never see you again," Lex said when she saw her walking through his office door.

She could see how sad he was, how devastated.

"Well, you are," she answered. "I had a lot of time for thinking. I even talked to Chloe. I needed to. She didn't judge. She actually advised me to follow my heart what must be very hard for her…"

"So, are you?" Lex asked with hope in his voice.

He made his way to her and though everything in him was screaming to just take her in his arms and kiss, he restrained himself. He had one shot at this, so he had to make it right.

"Building the trust back will be hard, but the hardest thing for me is to being away from you," Lana confessed.

His expression changed at instance. He wasn't shattered anymore, his face illuminated in a smile and in that moment there was nothing that could stop him anymore.

He swept her into his arms and kissed hard, running his tongue though her lower lip and when she opened her mouth widely, plundering the inside with it.

Lana moaned and put her hands to his skull, then her arms around his neck, snuggling into him, desperate as much as he was to feel him whole.

Their kisses grew more urgent, their need that had been denied for so long finally could be satisfied. Yes, they'd had sex that one night, but Lex hadn't had his memories back then, it'd been different.

He soon pushed her toward his desk, dropped everything from it on the floor and raised her up, so she could sit.

Then they were tearing each other's clothes off, hands wandering over bodies, lips joined, her legs spreading open for him.

And finally Lex slid himself back home.

They still had a lot of issues to work on, a lot to talk about, settle for, but they were determined to make that relationship work as they were madly in love.

Lana felt deep down inside that this time Lex really had learnt, this time they would start an honest and healthy relationship.

This was their second chance and it would work.

* * *

**the end**

* * *

**A/N **Ok, that was freaking hard! I mean… I didn't realize how much the writers of Smallville screw up until I finally sat down and tried to fix it! Grr! I just hope I made this as much plausible as possible. I think I'll settle back on Chlex fiction;p


End file.
